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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508431">Just Enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/riiiied/pseuds/ried'>ried (riiiied)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:22:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/riiiied/pseuds/ried</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A post-battle toast reveals some old wounds and new feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Avad/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Rare Male Slash Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvadore/gifts">salvadore</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Right of the heels of the end of the battle against the cultists, there was little leeway for a victorious mood despite the triumph - a not insignificant section of Meridian had been left in shambles, not to mention the number of those injured. But now, further down the line with rebuilding efforts, the bustle had started to return to Meridian - and the Sun-King had taken it upon himself to organising small events to help lift up the spirit of the citizens.</p><p>First, a small festival around town - nothing too extravagant, just an invitation for shops and taverns to open up more street-side stalls and a day off for everyone to look around and be merry. And in the middle of it, a small toast as gratitude to those who were at the forefront of the battle.</p><p>The Vanguards, in true Oseram fashion, of course had no reason to turn down a chance for a merry toast. A shipment of scrappersap from the Claim had just arrived earlier in the day, as if specifically for the occasion, and the moment Avad finished his speech, the squad wasted no time getting their hands on the goods. Erend himself was just about to finish another serving when he noticed someone approaching.</p><p>“Oh, is His Radiance interested in drinking the Oseram way?”</p><p>“Thank you for offering, but I’m just here to make sure everything is all right.”</p><p>“Then you don’t need to worry - we’re all well-fed here, aren’t we, boys?” He lifted his tankard up high, and as he did, a dozen others shot up in the air together with hearty shouts.</p><p>“That is good, then. I must thank all of the Vanguards again, not only for joining us in the battle, but also for helping with the rebuilding efforts. We would not be having this toast so soon after the battle if it weren’t for your efforts.”</p><p>Erend waved his other hand in front of him. “Don’t mention it. We wouldn’t be drinking the sweet taste of home right now either if we haven’t all been working together through all of this.” The wounds from the Red Raids haven’t completely healed for everyone, but both sides had certainly come a long way, and having a new common purpose did not hurt. “Are you sure you don’t want to have some to drink? Nothing beats some genuine home brew, at least for us.”</p><p>Maybe the alcohol was getting to him, but there was something about Avad’s expression he couldn’t quite read. Any attempts to decipher it were however cut short when Avad finally said, “I may actually take you up on that offer. But… can we perhaps talk elsewhere?”</p><p><i>That</i> gave him somewhat of an inkling of what that expression was all about. Nevertheless, he grabbed another full tankard as requested. “All right, then, where do you want to head to?”</p><p>-</p><p>The place Avad lead them to was on the other side of the palace, well away from the main commotion and lights, The cold breeze blowing through only served to highlight the awkward silence that had accompanied their walk down here, only broken with sloshes of liquid inside the pints.</p><p>“So,” Erend tried to break the silence as smoothly as the amount of drinks he ingested would allow him, “nice view, eh?” The balcony they were standing at overlooked part of Lower Meridian, the mellow light of torches and lanterns scattered between the buildings.</p><p>“We might not even have this view were it not for your efforts.”</p><p>“Come on, you can put a rest on that. Besides, if you really want to throw more gratitude at someone… there’s someone else who’d deserve it way more than me.”</p><p>Erend knew Avad didn’t need to be reminded of it - if it were possible, he was sure Aloy would have been the centre of this celebration. But she had already set on to continue her journey - a journey perhaps none of them truly understood the meaning of, like so many other things surrounding her.</p><p>“We all owe a lot to Aloy.”</p><p>“That we do.” Nudging Avad to finally accept the tankard, Erend then lifted his own to meet it. “She’s not around to accept it in person, but we can at least have a toast in her honour here.”</p><p>It was always amusing seeing someone not used to Oseram-strength liquor try to drink genuine scrappersap. Despite it being far from the first time for Avad, his face still slightly scrunched up at the first sip, and Erend can’t help but let out a chuckle at the sight.</p><p>“How do you expect to do diplomacy with the Oseram when you can’t even hold your liquor, Your Radiance? You think you’d be used to it by now.”</p><p>“You know well how strong your liquors are compared to the local Carja fare. Although, you do have a point - I really should have gotten used to the taste, after drinking it with Ersa so many times.”</p><p>Ersa. Yet another absence painfully felt. “With her as a drinking partner, you really should have, she used to make fun of how little I can drink compared to her when we were younger, and back when she was still captain of the Vanguards, after each successful mission we would drink our hearts out and -” Memories of drinking and laughing with Ersa at the taverns around town filled up his mind, and suddenly he felt as if a lump had formed in his throat. “I miss her.”</p><p>“I do too.”</p><p>“Everyone assures me that I’m doing great leading the Vanguards, but every time, all I see is the little things I miss that she wouldn’t have, all the mistakes I made that would be unthinkable to her, it’s - it’s just not the same.”</p><p>“...It doesn’t have to be exactly the same. You are doing the best you can in your position, and look at how much you have achieved.” Avad was trying to keep his voice steady, but be it the alcohol or the topic, Erend could hear a slight quiver in his voice.</p><p>“It still isn’t the same, though.”</p><p>There was a pronounced pause, before the answer finally came. “It would never be the same. But we have to make do with what is left for us.”</p><p>Make do. Logically, he knew it wasn’t in reference to his abilities, and rather the nature of Avad’s relationship with Ersa. And yet, something in him wanted to ask, <i>am I really enough</i>?</p><p>He only realized that he was saying it out loud when the answer came back, “Of course you are enough - the Vanguards are still as thriving as before under your command.”</p><p>“That’s - not what I meant.” By now, he was sure it was more the liquor talking than his sound mind. “Would I be enough for - you?”</p><p>The expression on Avad’s face was a mix of surprise and bewilderment, but still, he swiftly answered, “I would have no one else as the leader of my guards.”</p><p>“That’s - good, but -” Erend almost wished he hadn’t drank as many tankards of scrappersap as he had, so that he at least could think straight enough to word his thoughts properly, but then again, without the drinks he likely wouldn’t ever had said this much in the first place. “Forget it, I’ll just - excuse me, my lord -”</p><p>He wasn’t sure why he even bothered with the pleasantries, considering he wasn’t even planning on waiting for an answer, but he figured he should at least do that much before he - before he pulled Avad in for a slapdash kiss, teeth almost clicking together.</p><p>“So, that’s what I - yeah.”</p><p>He really shouldn’t have done that - nobody in their right mind would mess with their employer like that - but he then felt a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"You're not Ersa. But I'm not Ersa either, and I could never even try to replace what she was to you."</p><p>"You - what -" The unexpected words sent him into a laughing fit. "Sorry, but, of course you’re not going to be Ersa, you’re not as brawly, you can’t hold your liquor even a quarter as good as her, and you’re too -” <i>too pretty in the prim and proper way</i>, but even after that many drinks he still knew to stop himself from saying quite that much. He was drunk and a goner but not <i>that</i> far gone. “Anyway, my point is, you’re not Ersa, no one else is, but I don’t need you to be, and besides, if I wanted someone to be the replacement for my sister, I wouldn’t have done… that.”</p><p>“I suppose so,” Avad said, a straightforward smile finally on his face. “And if I am enough as I am for you, then so are you as you are for me.”</p>
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